...Or a heart on my sleeve

What kind of power does the word 'love' actually have? Should there be some sort of law or rulebook which depicts the level of importance when it's said out loud? Like a ratings system or a guideline; "it is appropriate when…" or "out of 10, this is a 3 on the madly in love scale". Would that be easier, or would it just take importance away from whatever we initially thought it meant in the first place?

Love.

"I love you."

"I love sex".

"I love shoes".

"I love pizza".

Where there's a will, there's a word. Wanting to express how you feel about something makes some people tense up like this latest planking fad, but we do it without even noticing. For example, I love shoes. I do. They give me that warm and fuzzy feeling you can only get from a Tony Bianco wedge bootie. But I also love puppies and m&ms. And I hate getting blisters from those shoes and when all my m&ms are brown. (brown m&ms…really? what genius invented those?) And a man, take mine for example, loves the Temper Trap. And Buddy Franklin. And toast. But does the affection he has for me differ compared with that of the buttery goodness of crispy bread? One would like to think so. The thing about love is that what it means to me, is more than likely totally different to what it means to you. Or your mum. Or your year 4 teacher. Or my year 4 teacher for that matter. Snow Patrol had it right when they said 'those three words are said too much, but not enough'; they're tossed around more than a fine Greek salad, but when you really want to hear them, its like that one sock you put in the wash but isn't in the pile - you were sure you had it, you knew you did, because there's it's pair, but poof! Gone. And maybe, just maybe, you were having a senior moment and you left it behind somewhere to dig up later.

My convoluted point, is that perhaps it's not something we should expect to be there. Don't they always tell us to stop looking for it and you'll find it? Stop hunting it down, and it will walk right up to you? Stop asking for it, and you'll get it on a silver platter with an after dinner mint? Maybe not so much the third, but what if they're right? What if expectations are only leading to disappointments? Who decided that being single was the quickest way to spinster-ville? And what on gods earth is a spinster in the first place? According to society, there is just one thing more frightening and socially dangerous than the single person - the couple who haven't got a plan.

In a two-some? Having a great time with amazing, spontaneous sex and the butterflies and waking up at noon to eat eggs and watch bad tv? Well you better get your serious faces on, because you now have to move in together, get engaged, get married and start reproducing. That's supposedly natural; at the first signs of moving in, the next 'normal' step is to get married. Then when you've snagged the ring, you are suddenly bombarded with what are the babies going to be called and where will you invest their dowry. The thing that gets my cogs clinking, is why on earth does this 'have' to happen? Why is it expected?

Of course, none of this would happen without the exchange of affections. Soaking in the cliche of a thousand chick flicks, the pressure to say those 'three little words' becomes heavier and heavier until they're suddenly blurted out at the most inappropriate or unromantic of moments. Say, grocery shopping or hanging out the washing. More often than not, when totally intoxicated. Not on emotions, but on tequila or a cocktail of alcohol and bad music. Or, when the effort is made, and there are rose petals and Barry White everywhere, things can go awry.

Some declarations go perfectly:

"I love you"

"I love you too."

Some others aren't as wonderful:

"I love you"

"I think we should see other people"

But the worst. The thing that scares lovers across the globe in every country, continent and municipality:

"I love you"

"Thank you".

Thank you. Words that are drilled into our skulls as small children. The worst time to say it. I have been guilty in this response, and the result wasn't pretty. All of a sudden, our relationship was doomed to end, and we could never be together. Never. Not in a million years and we may as well break up now because there's no hope in continuing this fruitless endeavour.

Um. Excuse me, but did you just take the express to insane 'i can tell the future' land? Just because I don't love you now and right this second doesn't mean I won't love you later. In this particular scenario, I managed to convince old boyfriend that he had best wait around, because it may happen. It did about a month later, and being confident in what I said made the wait worth it. And I found my sock. Somewhere along the line, we have become so obsessed by the fantasy of true love and falling in love, that if it isn't a fairy tale from the get go, it's apparently not worth it. Disney corporation tells us that for a relationship to work, you both have to be madly and sickly in love with each other from the second you lock eyes, and is some Disney cases, paws or talons. Think of most romantic movies you're ever seen - lovers meet and it's obvious from scene one they'll end up together. They discover their love, and then something dramatic happens. One of them gets struck down with the plague or one of them is shockingly unfunny, and all of a sudden, they're not in love anymore. And then they are smitten again when 'love conquers all' and they get over their hideous afflictions. No wonder we're confused about how to do this properly. What is so wrong with being in a relationship but not being in love? Are those couples destined to live less of a life? I was hoping that developing love is a skill; a talent that one puts effort and enjoyment into. Love at first sight is a gorgeous idea - if it were that easy, we'd all be delirious and singing with the bunnies and birds - but unfortunately it's rare. Very rare. Like Louis Vuitton in my wardrobe.

As much as the word love differs from person to person, so does the word 'happy'. What makes someone happy is totally circumstantial and independent of their own personality, but who decided that you can only be truly happy and content if you're in love and loved? Disney is giving off this impression with its blockbusters, past present and in production. The fact - and more romantic idea in my own personal opinion - is that a couple can be happy without the romantic declarations and the bottle of tequila, while singles can be happy by just wearing their Tony Bianco's and gnawing at that third piece of toast.